My journey of self-discovery......

Then……

I was not happy! Rather I was really unhappy!

After much soul searching (and a lot of googling), I found the source of all my problems.....my emotional dependence on my husband (who is also my best friend, guide and support system). ). I had nurtured my relationship for 4 years and invested much of my time and emotions into it, almost to the point that I lost my sense of SELF!

The only way to get back all what I had lost was to resurrect myself as an individual. For that I needed to redevelop my worth and self esteem in my own eyes.

Hence, I embarked on this new journey, RESURRECTING my life, hoping to turn my life around. But most importantly I decided to fall in LOVE with myself…..

Now….

Its been two months since I embarked on this journey of self-discovery. My quest to discover my worth, confidence and love for myself. And like any other journey it had its own share of ups and downs, highs and lows. It was long time overdue and it took me a while to warm up to it. But it was totally WORTH IT!!!

Taking out time for myself, a little here and a little there. Stealing those precious few moments every now and then. Listening to music, pampering myself, striving to looking good all the time, watching comedy shows and cartoons, connecting with friends, socially on Facebook and calling up old pals and schoolmates, cooking to my heart's content. Embracing spirituality including a daily pooja routine to make me feel more earthed and at peace with myself. Reading self help articles on net incessantly. Doing conscious efforts to SMILE a lot. All this and lot more...a few baby steps in the beginning have now made a tremendous impact on how I perceive my life and my self.

 To become strong and independent…more so emotionally... is not as easy task. The changes are daunting and scary. You question yourself each day and it’s difficult to keep up the momentum. Old habits are hard to break and they keep pulling you back. And you are forever haunted by the fear of loosing on to the love of the person from whom you are trying to get emotionally independent. It doesn’t happen overnight…..it’s a constant process…a struggle….and we learn from our experiences and grow stronger with each passing day.

 My turbulent journey these past two months was also fraught with moments when I was so frustrated that I just wanted to yell and some weak moments when I just gave in and cried my heart out. But the best part is that these episodes were very few and far between and short-lived. This time I was ready to bounce back with renewed vigor and energy.

For me LIFE HAS JUST BEGUN!!!! And I am loving every moment of it.